When I come back to my room after today's training I feel like a doll of wool whose consent and feelings are just virtual and the world would take intense pleasure in detangling it. I sit on my bed and think of whatever happened. I cry about it. I NEED TO ESCAPE, I CANNOT SUBMIT TO LIVE AT A PLACE LIKE THIS. Umm I cannot run away from here as they will catch me. I will have to wait for the right moment. Till then , I will manage to solace the extortion. Tomorrow I have to wake up at the same time, 6'o clock and it's already 11 pm now. I need to go to sleep.
I wake up at 6 and follow the same routine of bathing and shaving so that my skin resembles a dummy made up of wax . I get ready. We have been told to wear saree today and I'm given a net saree and I drape it . I apply makeup and wear red lipstick. One thing I have figured out after entering this hellhole is that it's important to angelic.